Matter Over Mind
by Sophie the Scribe
Summary: After yet another failure, Alphonse seems ready to give up on the chance of redeeming his body. Edward decides he is willing to go to unprecedented lengths to find a philosopher's stone, and sets out on what should be a brief journey. Six months later, he has not returned, leaving Al and the military to wonder if he is alright—if even alive...but they never expected this.
1. Chapter 1

**Regret**

 _Prologue: Matter over Mind_

"Another false lead." Edward couldn't hide the frustration in his voice as he collapsed onto the bed and proceeded to brood silently.

"Maybe I just wasn't meant to be human again," Alphonse said gloomily. "It would explain all these relentless failures." Ed sat up quickly, banging his head on the upper bunk.

"Don't you dare say that!" He growled, rubbing his throbbing head. They had gone to too many lengths for him to see Al losing his hope; it was all he had left.

"I dunno, it could be true. Maybe we're just chasing our own tails here."

Ed felt a spike of anger. He stood and confronted his brother.

"Alphonse. We are getting your body back whether you think we can or not."

Al retreated a few steps. Ed might be short, but he could be intimidating.

"Ok. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. I won't say it again," Al promised, but Ed knew that he would still doubt whether or not he admitted it aloud. He wished he could be of some comfort.

A glimmer of an idea snuck into his mind; a part of his mind where he kept suppressed possibilities. It would be far more unethical, Ed reasoned, to let his brother suffer when there was the possibility he could change him back. How far was he willing to go, though?

Ed promised himself that he would kill no one on the course of his mission. He also promised himself that Al would never find out what he planned to do.

"I'll be heading out again tonight. I think I found a better lead on the stone."

"Um…already? Well, ok, I'll go with you!" Al chimed.

"It's ok, I'll be fine," Ed said quickly. Al would disapprove of the plan for sure, and there was no way he was going to turn back now. Al's disappointed demeanor spurred Ed to make up a quick excuse.

"I just—it requires squeezing into small spaces," he presented stupidly. Al had no facial features, but Ed was sure he was internally raising an eyebrow. Ed mentally smacked himself for making any comment relating to his size.

"…Um, ok? It's not dangerous, is it?" Al asked.

"What have we ever done that isn't? Anyways, it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be back before you know it."

Inwardly, Ed didn't believe himself. This could take a while, maybe even a few days.

"I'm off," he called, stepping out the door.

6 months later, Al would still be waiting for his return.


	2. Not Alone

**I believe I will make Saturdays official chapter post days.**

 **Feel free to offer constructive criticism. Enjoy!**

 _Chapter 2: Not Alone_

Edward made his way out of town, shielding his eyes from the nearly-set sun. He wore a simple coat, shirt, and pants; he had reluctantly left behind his favorite red alchemist coat to avoid being overly conspicuous. Once he had reached the edge of town, the sun was just a dull glow on the horizon, soon overcome by the blackness of night. He continued past the outskirts of town and down a long road. The silhouette of a large building could just barely be seen in the darkness: Ed had reached his destination. In the moonlight, the abandoned building ebbed an eerie presence. Ed shuddered involuntarily. There was no room for doubt, however. It was time to break a few laws.

The daunting structure used to be a laboratory: Laboratory 5, to be precise: but had been shut down after an investigation proving its use of illegal alchemy in its research. Edward had had a personal hand in exposing the illegal experiments. In addition, he had discovered—and, well, never reported—the fact that philosopher stones had been made in the lab…and never been found or removed by the investigation team. A couple of curious people were known to have tried to sneak into the lab, but none of them had ever returned, leading many to believe the lab was cursed or haunted. People avoided it as if it didn't exist.

Edward shook his head. The other break-ins had probably been attempted by inexperienced and dumb dimwits. No guard would be able to fend off a state alchemist, however. Ed smiled with pride, then sighed. He had been unwilling to go for the stones before, as his goal was to restore their bodies without using human souls, but those people were already dead, weren't they? It would be a shame that so many innocent victims died to make stones that ended up just sitting in an abandoned building. Yes, he told himself, this was a favor to those who had been sacrificed.

Cautiously, he made his way towards the entrance of the building. The guard was slumped on the wall, snoring softly. The door was already falling off its hinges, so Ed had no trouble getting by it. Soon he was inside the spacious building, surprised at how easy his entrance had been. Not like he expected much resistance from an abandoned building, but still, things were rarely that simple. Once he was satisfied that he was completely alone, Ed pulled out a flashlight and began to survey his surroundings. He was in a fairly large room, bare and cold, with no windows and no furniture. It did, however, have a door, so he proceeded through it.

The rooms he continued to discover were dark and drafty, and he pulled his coat closer to himself. As confident as he had been earlier, there was something about this place that increasingly sent all his senses screaming for him to escape while he could. Pushing these unsettling feelings to the back of his mind, he focused on the task at hand. He just needed to find the lab where the philosopher stones were hidden. Down a dark corridor and towards a small, stone door, he felt that he was very close to the prize. The door was heavy but unlocked. He looked around, feeling a bit restless in the small space and the damp air. He knew from listening to the homunculi that pressing a certain stone opened a cabinet at the far end of the room…and a few minutes of wall-probing later, Ed was staring at a case of several philosopher stones.

The door behind him slammed shut. Edward yelped in surprise and pivoted to face whatever threat had finally discovered him. As an instinct, he simultaneously clicked off his flashlight, throwing the whole room into blackness. Due to the lack of draft, he could tell the door was closed. So. He was trapped in here with whomever or whatever stood before him. Being a skilled Alchemist was useful only when you could see what you were transmuting; Ed wished he had examined the room more closely beforehand...

A few tense moments passed, in which Edward stood still and the other being made no move to attack. Ed was confused at this hesitation but still hardly dared to breathe. The stranger eventually spoke.

"Welcome."

His voice was like half-frozen caramel; like melting glass…Edward didn't know quite how to describe it, but it chilled him to his bones. He decided he had no interest in hearing a speech; he had to make the first move, otherwise his opponent had all advantages. With a clap, bright blue light snaked and writhed around his arms as he prepared to transmute his automail arm into its trademark weapon form. He wasn't given the time. The stranger grabbed his metal arm with unexpected swiftness, and Edward watched in horror and bafflement as the transmutation light stopped its pulsing and absorbed into the other man's arm. It seemed to soak gradually into his skin and then it stopped, its blue light illuminating a large and muscular arm, then without warning shot like a glowing snake back along the path it came—back into Ed's automail. With a startled exclamation, he watched as the metal disfigured and came apart, proceeding to tear itself like silver paper caught in the blades of a fan.

Edward's mouth hung slightly agape, and his wide eyes refused to register the scattered metal that used to be an arm. His arm. Rage coursed through him, but he also felt the beginnings of fear. Without his arm, he could no longer perform alchemy, and that put him at a major disadvantage, especially considering his opponent's unexpected strength. Before he could make any decisions, he found himself unable to move: in the span of just three seconds, he had been bound by thick chords. He heard an icy chuckle.

"As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted my—"

"It wasn't an interruption; you were at the end of a sentence," Ed said while squirming.

The man shoved a gag in his mouth.

"As I was saying, welcome. I've been waiting a long time for you. People are too scared of this place to go near it; I had run out of resources…you're a little small, but you'll do fine."

Ed grunted in response to the "small" comment. He shoved this anger aside for the moment and loomed over what the man had said. He put together what he knew: this was a laboratory, he was a specimen of sorts, he was unable to fight or use alchemy, and the man in front of him was most likely an Alchemist—with a ready supply of philosopher stones. Well, crap. He didn't really have to do the math to realize that his was not going well.

A prick on his arm. The world went black. It was an oblivion he would learn to long for.


	3. Apprehension

**Sorry for the delay; there was an incident involving a shovel and the main wifi cable...**

 **Also, thank you so much for the supportive reviews; they are my inspiration to keep this story going.**

 _Chapter 3: Apprehension_

"Brother is missing."

Alphonse's distress was palpable from the moment he'd burst into the office. Ed's unpredictable nature meant that he was often was unaccounted for, but it was unusual for Alphonse to seem so concerned.

Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"For how long?"

"He left last night."

Mustang furrowed his brow; that wasn't long enough of an absence to send a search party. Alphonse sensed his skepticism and continued.

"I wouldn't worry you for nothing, it's just—he didn't even take his coat, he wore completely plain clothes, so he obviously wanted to be inconspicuous. That means he was doing something illegal or highly dangerous. On that note, he even shows off in highly dangerous situations, so he's probably doing something he isn't supposed to."

Mustang let out a frustrated breath. Ed's missing ego wasn't proof enough of imminent danger, but Alphonse seemed so distressed that he filed a missing report anyways, if only to make the boy feel better.

"We'll find him," Mustang promised. Al bowed his head and thanked the colonel. He felt bad about making a fuss, but something just felt very wrong. Better to make a fuss over nothing than to not pay enough attention to something that could be serious.

Ed was struggling against the haze that he had woken to. As his senses slowly returned, he wondered how long he had been unconscious. Taking a shaky breath, he tried to figure out what he could, despite the blackness of the room. The first thing he noticed greatly puzzled him: his automail was still attached. Any kidnapper with a sliver of decency would be quick to remove the limbs, as it was obvious they would be effective to fight back with. An explanation could be the fact that thick iron manacles kept each limb bound in place.

The door opened as a growing sliver of blinding light that forced Edward to turn his sensitive eyes away.

"Good morning," the man said cheerfully. "I'm sure you have questions. Well, unfortunately, I'm not going to waste precious time by giving you answers." With that abrupt introduction, he produced a fairly large case and set it on the floor. He popped the lid open, revealing two syringes with long needles. Ed immediately began to squirm, eyeing the needles that the man now held in his hand.

"Now, if you would direct your attention to these two syringes please," said the scientist. It was an unnecessary request, as Ed's eyes hadn't left the needles since they had been removed. The man smiled at the syringe in his left hand. It contained some sickly brown substance.

"This is my very own concoction. I'm quite proud." He then lifted the other syringe, which was a dull orange. "This, on the other hand, is the antidote. I'm sure you're wondering why I would need an antidote if I don't care about helping anyone I capture…perhaps you will come to realize why, soon. For now, let's begin." The scientist then approached Edward, who tried to shrink backwards but failed miserably, and before he could gasp there was a needle pressed into his shoulder. The familiar nausea seeped into him as he panicked, trying to get away from the needle, his life-long enemy. Soon it was over, and he was sweating slightly as the scientist placed the empty syringe back into its case. A new fear made its way through him: was had just been injected into him? Did the man want him dead, or did he want information? Would it kill him, or torture him, or turn him to stone?

The shackles opened, sending a startled Edward toppling forwards.

"That is all. You may go," said the scientist. Ed stared, the words not having fully registered in his head. He could leave?

"However," the scientist continued, "I assure you that you don't want to bring any of your military pals over here, and you certainly don't want to hurt me or damage this facility. I do, after all, have the antidote, and it will be very well hidden within this laboratory. Allow me to see you out."

Ed watched in a haze of confusion and the man opened a door, leading to a stairwell that spiraled up and back outside. Was it a trick? Would the stairs explode? Would he fall through them? No need for doubt. He was free, after all, and could now trap the unsuspecting man and make him hand over the antidote.

He clapped his hands together and focused on transmuting the walls into binding chains, but the light from the transmutation writhed and seeped into the floor, snaking away behind him. Ed spun around to see the scientist, one hand pressed to the floor, sleeve rolled up, and bright blue light illuminating transmutation patterns on his skin. He had…stolen Ed's alchemy? It was similar to the time when Ed had first attacked, and yet he felt that something more significant had happened this time.

"I said, goodbye," the man spoke icily, and the next thing Ed knew, the ground was transforming below him and he was being moved against his will… he struggled but could no longer tell where was up and where was down…and he landed in a heap on the grass outside the lab. The sky was dark, so It was most likely the next night. He was shaken but uninjured. The man really had let him leave; had even wanted him to leave…

His first step was to find Alphonse. Then he would see a doctor about whatever he had been injected with. No; first he would notify the military about the weirdo in the laboratory. No, no! To do that he would have to admit that he had trespassed on strictly forbidden property.

Shaking his head, he decided to first find Alphonse and leave the rest for later. He felt immensely tired, as if a heavy wet blanket had been draped over him. Unusual as it was, he passed it off as an after-effect of the sedative he had first been injected with. As he turned to head home, he felt a sharp pain in his side; a protesting in his ribs most likely resulting from being held by metal binds. The back of his mind tugged at his conscious, insisting that something was very wrong.

Just the sedatives, Edward told himself, and continued to walk home through a heavy haze of sleepiness.


	4. Trepidation

**On second thought, Sundays are more convenient posting days for me. That's official; I promise won't randomly switch it to "Every Wednesday on which I eat a Fuji apple."**

 **Comment, praise, criticize...but moreover, enjoy!**

Alphonse walked the streets alone. The sun had long since set, but he had never been able to sleep since being trapped as an armored soul; since the disappearance of Ed, he hadn't even been able to rest. He didn't really see much of a purpose to life without his brother. He knew he needed to let go, but all he could think of was the possibility that Ed was still alive. The sliver light from the moon played with his sense of vision—one of only two senses he had retained—and every few minutes it led him to believe he saw the swish of a red cloak, or a glint of golden hair. Perhaps he was going insane…

"AL!"

The voice he heard was desperate yet relieved; it was Ed's voice for sure. Horrified at the thought that he was now hearing things as well, Al suppressed dry sobs. When would this mocking end?

"ALPHONSE!"

Al spun around and saw a figure running clumsily towards him. It was Ed; he looked terrible, frankly, but there was no mistaking the short Alchemist. With a clank of metal, Alphonse was running towards his brother. Edward gave a relieved smile, slowing down his pace. Alphonse ran into him full-force and he went crashing to the ground.

"STUPID!" Alphonse cried. "STUPID, BROTHER! YOU GO OUT TO DO SOMETHING DANGEROUS AND DON'T EVEN TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE OFF TO? DO MY FEELINGS REALLY MATTER THAT LITTLE?"

Startled, Ed tried to hobble to his feet and panted.

"What was that for? One day spent away from me and you panic?"

Alphonse fell deathly still; only the glow behind his eyes gave any proof that he was anything more than an empty suit of armor.

"Brother…what happened?" Al asked quietly.

"It doesn't matter. Why are you so worried? I'm back now."

"You go missing for over 6 months, and you show up thinking it's been only a day. If I may, that is plenty of reason to worry."

Ed's brows furrowed with confusion and terror. 6 months? He had been gone for over 6 months? Wow, that really was a reason to worry. What the heck had that man done to him that required such a long time to complete?

Almost as a response, he felt the sharp pain in his ribs again; it felt like they were shifting slightly inside of him. He tried to quickly hide the grimace of pain that had flitted across his face, but Alphonse had noticed. Ed came up with a quick excuse.

"Ah, I haven't been eating that much. My stomach kills."

"Brother, we need to get you to a doctor!" Al exclaimed. This was probably not such a bad idea, but Ed knew that doctors usually led to needles. Plus, it was probably nothing serious, since he wasn't dead yet.

"First, I want a sandwich." Ed had realized he really was famished. How much had he been fed over the past months?

Back at their flat, Al called the colonel and then fussed over Ed. Hundreds of needle scars threw him into a panic, and he insisted on testing Ed's blood, then dragged him to the military hospital.

"What a lovely welcome home," Ed grumbled as he parried the doctors' attempts to subdue him.

"Hold still, they just need a bit of blood!" Alphonse said, exasperated. In the end, Al was holding Ed in a full-Nelson, and after a small prick the tube filled with blood.

"I'll be back with the results as soon as I can," promised the doctor, leaving them in the hospital room. Ed was brooding, his back turned to Al. Al meanwhile was disconcerted with how little Ed was worrying. Did he really remember nothing?

When the doctor returned, he asked to speak to Ed alone. He later returned without Ed, wishing to speak to Al privately as well.

"Your brother was infused with something that caused temporary amnesia, erasing from his memory anything that happened within the past months that he was gone. As the infusion wears off, his memories of that time will return, and they may be traumatic. You need to support him, and don't freak out if he acts rather differently for a while." Al sighed.

"Is that all?" Al asked. The doctor licked his lips.

"No. Something in his blood steam altered his DNA, but it is unlike anything I've ever seen before. I can't identify it. I'll keep working on it and let you know if I figure anything out." He paused, seeming to have an internal struggle, then continued. "And…well…until we find a cure, it may…affect him. His body will want to adapt to the new DNA. It will likely… not be pleasant." The doctor was fidgeting, obviously uncomfortable that he had to present this unsettling news.

"Take care of your brother," he added after the pause, and then he left.

The brothers rejoined, and Alphonse decided that a trip to the library could take Ed's mind off of the things, as it usually did.

There was a creak of floorboards, and Ed's eyes shot open. He pulled in vain at the restraints that left him with continuously deeper marks on his wrists.

"Hold still," said the man as he approached. A prick on Ed's arm, and a few moments later the scientist held a syringe half-filled with Ed's blood. He produced a small vial from his coat pocket and poured its contents into the syringe, mixing it with the blood. Satisfied, the man eyed the needle, then returned it to Ed's arm. Ed again tried to pull away, very uneasy with the idea that something foreign was being ejected into his bloodstream. Unease was abruptly replaced by pain; he felt like the veins in his arm had become liquid fire trying to burn through his very bones, and he thrashed wildly. The man picked up the needle and mixed Ed's blood with the substance again, ignoring the protests from the angry teen as he pricked it back into his arm…

"ED! EDWARD!"

Ed's eyes snapped open. He was on the floor of the library, surrounded by books that might have once been stacked neatly, but were now cast about him. Al loomed above him.

"Brother? What happened? Are you ok?"

Ed wasn't sure what to respond. After making sure he really was in the library with al and not in a dark room with a mad scientist, he relaxed.

"Just a dream, Al. Calm down."

"You were flailing and yelping!"

"…Bad dream."

"Bad memory," Al realized aloud. "What did you remember?"

"Nothing big. Just…trying to get unchained. I don't like being stuck."

"There's more to that, brother, you liar." Ed wondered how much he was willing to tell; he didn't want to concern Al.

"He gave me a shot, you know how much I hate those. I put up a good fight though—agh!" He had begun the white lie in what he hoped was a careless tone, but a pain in his flesh arm startled him. At that moment, he made a connection in his brain. The DNA…the odd pains…the laboratory.

The cure.

He had forgotten the final conversation with his captor, assuring him that he'd be back for the cure. That was a vital detail, and it helped to solidify his hypothesis. Moreover, he was indeed going to have to go get the cure at one point; now that he understood what was happening to him, he knew that there would be no hiding the fact that something was very, very wrong. He swore to himself that he would never let Al find out.

Al would find out anyways.


	5. Foreshadow

**I got this published relatively *on time*, which is a major achievement for me! Your comments are my sustenance, thank you for those.**

 **Sorry for the short chapter. Please enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5: Foreshadow**

The days passed, and Edward made his best effort to live life as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He knew what the scientist freak was trying to do—to get him to return to the laboratory, most likely so that he could become a living experiment again. Unfortunately, Ed knew he would indeed have to return to the lab at one point in search of the antidote; every hour, racking pains seemed to compress his muscles and shift his bones. He was, however, conflicted by the resolution that there was no way he could tell Al about his plan to return to the abandoned lab. However, if he did end up being captured at the lab and managed to eventually escape, Al would never trust him again. Heck, even a week after he had been found, Al still would stare at him, as if worried the mirage of his lost brother might disappear. To leave again without warning would take such a toll on Al; the armored soul was not strong enough to bear that much trauma.

So he procrastinated. The memories would often return to him in his sleep and in his waking. He'd been pricked, tested, and had his DNA altered through hundreds of shots that burned like fire. Stubbornness was a dominant trait of his, though, and he resolved to ignore the unpleasant sensations that tore at him more often with every passing day.

One afternoon, he could no longer fake being "perfectly fine". Al accompanied Ed on a trip to the library. Less than an hour after arriving, Ed cried out and fell to the floor, thrashing, shivering, and clutching at himself as if he were falling apart. A pile of books clattered to the floor as Al quite literally dropped what he was doing and ran to his brother's side. Ed's eyes shot open, glassy and distant.

Cages lined the walls, each housing shadows that growled and shrieked. A shaft of moonlight lit up one of the creatures, and it shied away from the light. It seemed to be some kind of bird, but it was enormous. Its wings were battered and broken, likely from trying desperately to escape its cruel confinement. Ed stared at it; there was nothing beautiful about it, it might as well have been a physical representation of misery and pain. The bird stared back. Then it spoke.

"It's raining…"

Ed gaped, vaguely aware of the absence of echoing raindrops, more entranced and horrified by the creature.

"It's raining," it repeated,

"No it's not," Ed said hesitantly.

"It's raining. Don't go outside…don't go out…don't go… rain…"

Ed felt as though his heart were made of lead. The bird spoke in a soft croak that nevertheless screamed of its internal agony. Ed felt the familiar prick of a needle, and his senses began to shut down. The last thing he registered was the empty eyes and voice of the mutant bird.

"Don't go…"

"BROTHER!"

Ed became aware of a stinging on his cheek; Al had slapped him, back to the present. Although the memory was no longer keeping him captive in an elaborate replay of trauma, he was unable to shake it from his mind. A fury rose inside of him. Those innocent creatures, captured and experimented on, then thrown into cages like so much trash. Ed half-hoped they had died; he, for sure, would rather die than live in such despair. Al's voice shook him from his thoughts.

"We need to get you to a hospital."

"I'm fine."

Al slapped him again.

"Fine? Fine?" Al yelled, attracting some startled gazed. He continued. "You act like things are fine, but I'm not as dumb as you think. I hear you moaning, I hear you panic as you relive memories that you're somehow so pressed on keeping secret. I want to help you, but you apparently don't trust me. Well, fine, at least you can trust a doctor! Trust someone! You're stupid and naïve enough to think you're immortal, apparently! You're a human, Edward; I don't care how much you want to be something else, humans need support and help and…" Al sighed and dropped to his knees with a clank. Ed stared at the floor like a dog that had been shamed.

"Al…I just…I hate to see you worry. I'm sorry. I'm naïve, and stupid, and I won't do that again. I'll get help. In fact, I'll go fix this first thing tomorrow morning. For now, I just need a nap."

So, the procrastinating was over, apparently. He'd head to the lab tomorrow.

He'd fix things. For Al's sake.


	6. Abysmal

**If you're having a bad day and were looking for something happy and uplifting, I suggest you calmly leave this story and look up some funny cat videos. Just saying.**

 **Chapter 6: Abysmal**

Perhaps it was the way he looked at the dorm; perhaps the way he then looked at Al; perhaps the way he said goodbye.

Something was wrong with Ed.

He had simply left, promising to make things right. "Right" could mean many things to Ed, however; they often ended up being things that got him in trouble. Al frowned. Why wasn't he running after his brother? Was it the determination and the promise in Ed's eyes? He hadn't even said when he would be back. He hadn't really said much at all. Alarms were blaring in Al's head as Ed disappeared into the night, but for a reason beyond himself, he subdued them.

Fear and dread were sensations that Edward rarely acknowledged. Yet, as he willingly made his way down the path that led to his fate, these sensations were prominent. Was he walking to his death, or to something even worse? Did he even have a plan? Was it even worth it? His whole body ached; he could barely remember a time when it didn't. He wanted to go back to the safety of the dorm and sleep for a few days.

The laboratory loomed in the distance, dark and disturbing as ever. Ed transmuted his arm into a sword, not wanting to use alchemy in the laboratory for the fear that the transmutation light would attract attention. Unfortunately, his hope of entering the lab easily was shattered when he felt a stabbing pain in his legs. He groaned. Now was not the time! He needed to move!

The pain was just bearable, and he entered the lab with little more than a moan now and then. The cure…which room was it in? Was it even here at all?

He heard a shuffle in the distance. Suddenly, he collapsed as a sickening grinding noise assaulted his ears. A split second later, he had given up on his plan of staying quiet, because the grinding was coming from the bones in his leg.

"Welcome," said an all-too-familiar voice. Ed would have been scared, but he could no longer think over the pain. What was wrong with his stupid leg? It was as if it had grown tired of being a leg and wanted to try something new for once. Ed coughed, the thought almost making him chuckle. He registered being grabbed under the arms and dragged across the ground, and the next thing he knew he had been released and was lying on the cold stone floor. He had been thrust into a cage. A cage, of all things! Was he some misbehaving pet?

Unsettling shuffling sounds alerted him to the fact that he was not alone. Large shadows were crammed into cages beside and above him.

"Don't…go…"

The croaking voice startled him and he turned to see a large bird with empty eyes. The large bird with empty eyes. It no longer struggled as it had before; it barely had the strength to speak; it lay on the ground, trembling, hardly alive.

Ed felt tears prickle at his eyes but forgot about the bird as his world exploded into blinding agony. He thought about Al, worried sick, and was overcome with guilt.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm sorry…"

Roy Mustang tried to focus his bleary eyes on the enormous, shining form in front of him. Having previously been asleep on top of his paperwork, his mind was still spinning in confusion. Thankfully, it hadn't been Hawkeye entering the room to reprimand him for sleeping again. He shook his head and focused on the suit of armor in front of him.

"—last night, I swear, and I knew something was up, but I didn't follow; why didn't I follow? He's gone, he's still gone, and I know something is wrong, please find him!"

Mustang frowned. Was this about Edward again? That heartless kid had left again without telling his brother anything? He wasn't invincible just because he was on the side of the military. If anything, he was in greater danger.

"So the brat left again?" Mustang asked with a sigh.

"Yes! He said he had to fix things…fix something…fix what?"

"Well, this is Ed we're talking about. There is no difference between fixing something and ruining it entirely." The colonel immediately regretted his words as the armor somehow assumed a terrified composure. "But, he's not totally hopeless," he added quickly. "Someone would have to be pretty stupid to pick a fight with him. He's probably off somewhere he's not supposed to be, somewhere he finds intriguing. Or maybe a risky lead on the stone."

"The lab," Al realized aloud. There had been Philosopher stones when they were sent to investigate. Had Edward not reported them? It was worth a look.

"You're not going alone," said Roy. He picked up a gun and holstered it.

"Thank you," said Al. He was indeed nervous at facing something that could incapacitate his skilled brother. The two left the military building, hurrying along the edge of town and reaching the lab much quicker than they would have in any other situation. Roy flipped out a flashlight and entered, wary of the fact that the broken door would allow easy access to anyone. Where was the guard?

Terrible, agonizing, and a pure representation of misery. These were the sounds that greeted Alphonse and Mustang as they passed through the cold rooms and approached a hallway. As they approached the door, the noises became nearly unbearable. They were weak, strained, and heart-wrenching. Whimpers, whispers, croaks and rasping sobs. Mustang wouldn't have expected anything different had they been facing the entrance to hell itself. This place probably wasn't far off, though.

When the door opened, small shining orbs pierced the darkness—multitudes of eyes—and turned towards the duo in the doorway. Almost as a single entity, the dark shapes that were producing such terrible noises began to shy away, pressing at the backs of their cages in an attempt to stay as far away from the visitors as possible. The whimpers grew in volume and desperation. Alphonse felt sick, on the verge of breaking down into the closest thing to tears that he could manage. As they stepped into the room, a dull light overhead flickered to life.

It was the most terrible thing Alphonse had ever seen, and despite the colonel's experiences in war having hardened his senses, he couldn't suppress his horror. There were creatures in the cages, far too large to be simply dogs, foxes, or birds, and each of them was morphed and mangled beyond recognition as any animal Roy could think of. He walked among them in a haze of denial and shock, mumbling furious nothings under his breath, but the mumbling stopped when he reached one of the larger cages. While the other beings continued to yelp and try to melt into the walls, this one simply laid on the floor with the most helpless look of defeat that Roy had ever seen. He knelt down to get a better look, wondering if the thing was even still alive.

It seemed to be a very large dog, pale in color, with golden hair covering its eyes and cascading down its back. Soon it became obvious that it was not only a dog; it bore large, golden-patterned wings which it held close to its back, and they trembled as Roy approached the creature. Al had noticed the colonel's particular interest in the creature, and approached to kneel beside him. The dog eyes widened, and it tried to stand, succeeding only for a few trembling seconds before collapsing again. It curled a long, lizard tail around itself, and stared at Al with vacuous but agonized eyes. A strange, whimpering moan escaped its threat, and it opened its mouth.

"Ssss….ssss…."

Al wondered if the poor soul had been mixed with a snake as well.

"Ssss….ssssssssooooorry…."

Al and Roy both gaped, taking in this execrable development.

"Sssooorry. Sorrrrryy…sooorrrryy…so…..sorry…"

The creature seemed desperate to convey a meaning, and frustrated with the ineptitude of its speaking. Alphonse wondered if the rest of the animals here could talk, and despite himself couldn't help but be amazed at the genius behind this level of alchemy. The creature before them continued to sputter its apology, seeming to lose its strength with every word. Roy made a calm "Shhhhhh…" sound to urge it to rest. It only became more frantic, and refused to look at anything but Al.

"Sorry….sorry….b…b….."

Al sighed, and began to ask what it was sorry about when it finally made its meaning clear.

"B….brroootttthhherr….."


	7. Misery

**Sorry about not posting last week; mid-terms unfortunately took priority over writing.**

 **I'm not sure where you all are hoping this story will go. Will Ed accept his life as a chimera? Will he be restored to his human form? Or will he become half human-half chimera? Or, of course, I could just have him die. I'll have to hope inspiration hits me before next week's chapter is due!**

 _For those of you who aren't familiar with this word:_

 _Pule (v.) to cry in a thin voice; whine; whimper._

 **Chapter 7: Misery**

Joy and despair had intermingled as Ed had noticed Al approaching his cage. There were so many things he wanted to tell him, so many broken apologies, but his mind seemed to work apart from his new body. Ed turned his thoughts to the immense pain coursing through him in an attempt to feel how his limbs and systems worked, then focused on his mouth. He opened and closed it, making odd hissing sounds as the word he tried to speak was distorted by foreign lips.

"Sssss….sssss..."

He forced out the word, and as if a floodgate had opened, he could not stop saying it.

"Sssorry…so….sorrryyy….ssssorry…"

Ed felt a prickle at his eyes that confirmed chimeras had the ability to cry. He had for so long been a symbol of strength for his brother, and had vowed to use that strength to help his brother press on, but now he was weak and disfigured, a pitiful creature splattering tear drops onto the cold ground. Ed lifted his head to look at Alphonse, trying to convey everything he wished so desperately to say. Al evidently hadn't made the connection yet, as he seemed more confused than devastated. Ed tried to form another word, believing it would be enough.

"B….brother…."

Alphonse was unable to process anything. His mind was a complete haze, muddying any logic or emotion. With one word, the creature has rendered him speechless. The fog cleared, exposing a whirlwind of terror, grief, anger, and despair. This poor creature encased the soul of his brother, his only brother. Al wasn't sure whether to scream or cry, but he found that he could do neither. The chimera attempted to stand again as Roy flicked on his flashlight, and every doubt was washed away as the additional light revealed Ed's legs. There were only two of them; one in the back and one in the front. Just like his human form: two limbs missing. Al began to pule as the gravity of the situation settled on him. Beside him, Roy stayed silent.

"Well, well, well," spoke a voice at the doorway. Al and Roy spun around to face a tall sillouhette. Had the scientist returned to transform them into chimeras too? The figure stepped forward into the dim light. He wore a white suit and fedora, and a cynical smile. Kimblee.

"Such pathetic creatures," spoke the Crimson Alchemist with feigned pity. "We may as well put them out of their misery." Kimblee strode over to where Ed and Roy crouched, and upon seeing the golden haired creature, he gasped in amusement.

"Is that the little brat?" He said loudly. The chimera stirred and moaned.

"Lll….lil….lil…not…lil…"

"And still has the strength to claim he isn't little. Well, you're not just little now. You're broken and useless too. Everything that made you special no longer exists. How does that feel?"

There was a sickening crack as a large, metal fist collided with Kimblee's nose. Alphonse had stood up and was trembling.

"You…you…monster…these creatures are animals with human souls, but you…you're a human with an animal's soul."

Kimble brought his hand up to his nose gingerly. The shock and pain had sparked anger alongside his amusement, but there was no need to explode. People broke easiest from the inside. It was only a matter of time. He opened his mouth to retort again.

Alphonse had not finished. With a cry of fury, he swung a hammerfist and Kimblee lay unconscious on the ground. Roy gaped and spluttered, horrified at the realization that Al had just knocked out a State Alchemist and that he had been at the scene as well.

A small flash of light returned his attention to the lab. Alphonse had broken open the lock and was slowly opening the cage door. Ed cowered but never stopped looking into Al's eyes.

Edward had recoiled once the door of his cage opened, acting on the instinct that his removal always resulted in painful experiments. This was his brother, however, and despite his terror, he dragged himself forwards with his front paw. With a pained snuff, he inched out of the cage and rested his head on Al's leg. It wasn't comfortable, but it was familiar, so he savored the cold metal beneath his fur. He was soon shifted, however, as Al wrapped his arms around him and tried to pick him up. Ed whimpered; the motion jostled his already aching body.

As Al lifted him up, he felt his balance waver, and out of instinct he began to flap his wings frantically. The frenzied motion only brought him more pain, but he couldn't seem to stop. The large wings battered at Al's chest and arms, as well as Roy's face when he approached.

"Can you hold him still?" He heard Roy ask. Al somehow adjusted his grip on Ed, despite the thrashing body, so that Ed's back was towards Al and his wings were pinned between himself and the armor. Ed began to pant; the tight hold was causing the pain to escalate.

"H...hurrrrrts..." he moaned. Al breathed a soft sigh.

"If I loosen a bit, you can't thrash around, ok?"

"..Kay..."

Al slackened and Ed pulled one of his wings out from the painful iron grip. He forced himself to keep as still as possible after that, though his body continued to shiver involuntarily.

Roy had seen terrible things in his life, but somehow this was a different kind of terrible. He'd seen lives destroyed and barely blinked an eye, but now that it was a life he genuinely cared about, he was distraught. The creature in Al's arms was so miserable, it seemed the situation was beyond help. Where would they bring him? A hospital was out of the question.

"Why don't we take him to my place?" Roy suggested. He had some first-aid on hand, not like it would be much help.

Ed seemed to fade out as they approached the military vehicle, either fAllen asleep from exhaustion or passed out. Roy helped to lay him on the back seat, and Al squeezed in next to him. Before they began to drive, Al gave a sheepish cough and asked,

"What about Kimblee?"

Roy hesitated. He could get out of a whole lot of trouble if he aided the other Alchemist. He sighed and responded.

"He deserved it."

They drove away.


	8. Mistakes

**That delay was awful and I am so sorry. This chapter is very short but it has a lot of significance; I wanted to post what I have so far just to assure you all that I'm not giving up on this story. Christmas break should give me plenty of time to write a chapter of decent length.**

The Scientist waited a few minutes to be sure that the State Alchemist and the strange metal boy had left, then emerged from the room in which he had been lurking. Those miserable fools had taken his most recent experiment, but no matter...they would be back. They always came back.

He reentered the specimen room and was rather amused to find an unconscious body on the floor. The body was of a rather tall man, with a sharp nose and a long black ponytail. Even while unconscious, he had a smug air to him. Some thing caught The Scientist's eye and he moved to inspect the man's hands. Transmutation circles...this could only mean that this man was an alchemist. How exciting! With some tweaking, this would be a perfect addition to his collection.

Kimblee awoke to find himself restrained and gagged. There was a strange man in front of him, whose arms were tattooed with some sort of transmutation circles. They were unlike any he had ever seen.

"You're awake," mused the man. He pulled out a syringe with a long needle and flashed the state alchemist a sickeningly amused smile. Kimblee began to struggle in earnest as the man approached.

"You will be my masterpiece," said The Scientist softly. Kimblee realized where this was going, and the town slept on as the gag muffled his petrified screams.

Meanwhile, Ed was getting a sponge bath. The colonel and Hawkeye worked to rid him of the excessive grime while Al held him and comforted him; Ed had refused to be more than three feet away from his brother. Al stroked his clumped fur, hoping that he didn't give away how nervous and horrified he was. Ed whimpered softly once in a while, but for the most part he allowed them to tug the dirt from his fur and rub the grime out of his feathers. Al registered that, when he was as clean as they could get him, he was a beautiful creature in a way. His fur was golden as his hair had been, and just as shiny and sleek. His wings were soft and had an intricate pattern to them.

However, he still wasn't the true Edward. No matter how impressive the creature he'd become, Al would do anything to restore him to the way he had been before: an ordinary teenage boy.

Edward lifted his head and dragged himself away from Al.

"Stone," he said. "Antidote..."

He had barely any strength, and once he had reached the carpet outside the bathroom, he collapsed onto the unfamiliar softness and fell asleep.


	9. Relocation!

NOTICE: This story has been revised, updated, and relocated to : /works/12786033/chapters/29177196

Thankd for reading! :)


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